20 things you should be doing for your wife on a regular basis.

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Being an awesome husband starts with putting your wife first.  And of course, vise versa.  Here are a few things you can start doing for your wife on a regular basis.

  1. Cuddle with her.  Physical needs between men and women are so different.  There are various ways to be intimate so keep her needs in mind.  Hint: cuddling is a good start.
  2. Don’t expect sex.  Now that the cuddling is over, it’s your turn, amiright?  Although sexual intimacy is crucial in a happy marriage, your wife doesn’t want to feel like she owes you a favor.
  3. Bring home dinner.  If it’s been a particular crazy day for your wife, the last thing she wants to do is make dinner.  Give her a night off every once in a while, either by bringing home some takeout or cooking yourself.
  4. Take the kids out.  Speaking of crazy days, another sweet act you could do is take the kids out for an hour or so.  Whenever I am feeling overwhelmed, my husband quickly takes the hint and takes our kids away so I can get some quiet time.
  5. Be a gentleman.  When you were dating, you did everything you could to woo your wife.  Then life happened as it always does.  It doesn’t take much thought or energy to act like a man.  Open her door, and not just when you’re on a date.  Open it every time.  Speak kindly to her, about her, and about others.
  6. Listen without fixing.  If you haven’t seen the video about the nail in the forehead, you must!  It is ridiculous and illogical, but it is so true.  This is how women work.  Go against your every instinct, and just be there and listen.
  7. Compliment her.  You think your wife is beautiful, you think she’s funny, you think she’s smart.  You admire her in so many ways.  Have you told her lately?
  8. Pray with her.  A good husband prays for his wife daily.  A great husband prays with her.
  9. Ask her out.  I have been married for nearly 14 years, and one thing that still gives me butterflies is when my hubby actually calls me to ask me out.  It is so much more romantic than a “Hey, the baby needs a diaper change and we should do something tonight.”
  10. Date her.  Now that you’ve properly asked her out, keep at it.  Dating does not need to be expensive.  Whether it’s dinner and a movie or a night in after the kids are in bed, keep dating a consistent part of your relationship.
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  11. Throw chocolate and run.  You think I’m kidding but I’m not.  This quote is funny because it is completely true.  Maybe this has never literally happened to you.  I mean, it does make women sound like some kind of wild zoo animal.  But honestly, if you do this to your wife, she won’t be mad.
  12. Let her sleep.  Mothers, especially those raising small children, are SO incredibly tired.  If you’re home, let her take a nap.  If it’s feasible, let her sleep in one day each weekend.
  13. Appreciate her.  Often times, a wife and mother’s work goes unnoticed.  Maybe you come home to a messy house.  She probably cleaned it 3 or 4 times already but you can’t tell.  Your dirty clothes magically appear in your closet all clean and folded nicely.  Perhaps she’s gone 8 hours a day and somehow the bank account has some extra money in it (not for long, I’m sure.)  Let her know you appreciate all she does for your family.
  14. Work hard.  Just as she works hard for the family, you do too.  Give everything you can to your career, your kids, and especially to her.
  15. Encourage her hobbies.  It is not uncommon for a woman to forget about herself in service to her family.  Help her keep her identity by pushing her to do the things she loves.
  16. Ask about her day.  Each day when you finally get to connect, really ask how her day was and see if she needs anything.
  17. Open up.  Men don’t generally like to look vulnerable.  You want to be tough mentally, physically, emotionally. etc.  Your wife wants to know how you are really feeling, and real communication is so important in marriage.
  18. Apologize.  When couples fight, women tend to fume on the inside until the issue is talked through or resolved.  If it’s a big one, this might go on for a while.  Generally, men happen to forget about the issue or put it away for a few hours or overnight (like a good cheesecake).  Then they forget about it (unlike a good cheesecake.)  To them, the argument is over with.  Meanwhile, unbeknownst to them, their wife is still angry.  Just apologize.
  19. Hold her hand.  Maybe PDA isn’t your thing and that’s OK.  Taking her hand in yours is just a small physical gesture that shows her how important she is to you.
  20. Respect her.  Your wife has built in motherly and wiferly (it’s a new word) instincts.  Even if you don’t agree with her opinion, you need to respect hers.  Then kindly talk out the best way to handle the situation.

How many of these things are you doing as a husband?  And how many could you work on?

And click here to read about the book that transformed my marriage.

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5 Comment

  1. Carlos A. Garcia says: Reply

    I’ve doing this for thirty years…It works…But some of my friends did not like when I mentioned it…and talked about it…

  2. Carlos A. Garcia says: Reply

    I’ve doing this for thirty years…It works…

  3. Joe Neckbone says: Reply

    Thank you Red Feather and Compton for your comments!

  4. Hi Becky
    It’s not “my marriage” it’s our marriage. Your attitude of “my marriage” is reflected in the contents of this article. Marriage is not about the woman it’s about the man and the woman (us). Men are not commodities who exist for you. They have feelings and needs which must be addressed to facilitate a successful marriage. These “fundamentals of marriage” are pitifully lacking in your article. This doesn’t reflect well on you.

  5. I always seem to see what the man should be doing all the time. Can someone tell some of these women what they should be doing for the man in their life. especially if he’s doing all that he possibly can to maintain and be the man (in every respect) in the home.

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